Why I often look delirious

January 18, 2011 at 2:49 pm (Parenthood) (, , )

I am not a sleeper.  I’m not sure how I slept as a baby, but I’ve had trouble sleeping off-and-on since I was a kid.  You hear people give advice about young children learning to put themselves back to sleep in the night.  I tend to think that’s shit.  Either you’re a sleeper, perhaps with occasional trouble sleeping, or you’re not a sleeper, but occasionally get good sleep.  My husband is the former; I am the infuriatingly the latter.  If we have some petty disagreement at bedtime, he can still be asleep in five minutes while I stew for hours.  Thankfully that’s not my “usual” reason for insomnia.

Pregnancy and having babies that wake in the night just exacerbate this.  When I was pregnant with Willa, I’d lie awake just wishing somebody would soothe me back to sleep.  I’m not alone, I know, from the number of pregnant friends I know posting on FB at 3 in the morning.  And something about winter seems to keep me up late also.  Maybe I need more exercise.  Actually, there’s no maybe about needing exercise, just a maybe concerning its helpfulness to my sleep.  At any rate, if you are reading this sleep-deprived, I wish you Sweet Dreams tonight!

As an example of the ridiculousness of my evenings, here’s a rundown of last night, unfortunately not an atypical night:

9-10:30pm: Watch Friday Night Lights on DVD with husband.  Feel guilty because slept horribly the night before and should be sleeping, but don’t feel tired yet.

10:30-11pm: Go upstairs, wake up Willa (in our bed) crawling in.  Feed her, listen to her and husband fall asleep.

11pm: Decide should read until tired.

11:30pm: Decide am not tired enough, need a little snack.  Have snack watching reruns of Friends.  My criteria for “fall asleep TV” is it can’t be creepy (i.e. CSI, etc.) and I must have seen it before, so plenty of stupid TV not worthy of my time gets watched.

11:35-11:55: Toss and turn on the couch, feeling guilty I won’t be at my level-headed best Mamaness tomorrow.  Feel annoyed because tomorrow has plenty of important to-dos.  Worry about money.

12am: Fall asleep.

12:20am: Wake up.  Drag self off couch, dreading waking up Willa in my bed.  I refuse to sleep all night on the couch.  Sleeping on the couch is for people in their twenties who have had too much to drink at a friend’s house.  We are in the process of transitioning Willa to Greta (and now also Willa’s) room, but it’s taking longer than planned.  First Mark built a lofted bed for Greta, completed a couple days ago.  (Please ignore the cobwebs which I am too lazy to crop out.)
There were four on the bed
Now I need to get Willa’s spot in that room ready.  Heading up the stairs, I remember Parker’s a good cuddler and go wedge myself between him and the wall in his twin bed, half on the siderail.  Hours of wonderful sleep… that kid IS a good cuddler.

4am: Hear Willa grunting, go feed her.

4:14am: Mark’s alarm goes off.

4:30am: Go downstairs to say good-bye to Mark, hoping Willa will stop talking and go back to sleep.

4:45-5:20am: Toss and turn while Willa jabbers next to me and plays with her feet.

5:20am- Feed her again in hopes of her sleepiness.

5:30am- Decide to give her the bed to see if she if the lack of my distraction will get her to sleep.  (It often does; I am REALLY looking forward to having another choice of place for her to sleep soon.)  Shower.

5:40am- Out of the shower to a sleeping baby.  Good.  Climb back in bed to see if the hot water has worked its magic.

6am- No, it has not.  And…. up for the day.

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