Child-Free Anxiety Syndrome (CFAS)

July 17, 2013 at 8:40 pm (Uncategorized)

You may have Child-Free Anxiety Syndrome (CFAS) if you:

Get so anxious decideing what to do when you have a couple of child-free hours, debating between taking care of your house (dishes! bathrooms! vacuum! surely you should get be able to get all this done and clean the mildew off the shower tile! the possibilities of a sparkling house are infinite!), yourself (coffeetime and journaling? a bath? sleep?), or your husband (an actual conversation? sex?), that instead you settle on something stupid like Facebook?

This sounds like a silly problem, but in all seriousness, I really do get so anxious about using my time wisely when kid free, that I make myself sick and of course ruin it.

I have been meaning for years to come up with a stock prioritization list.

Something like:
Step 1: Have you showered in the last 36 hours? If no, cleanse thyself.
Step 2: Have you wanted to cry in the last 36 hours? If yes, sit with coffee and think.
Step 3: How many clean pairs of undies does each family member have? If under three, put in a wash.
Step 4: When was the last time you had sex? Is your husband at home? If it’s been a few days and your husband is at home, do this.
Step 5: Are there any toys you hate, or clothes too small, that your kids will cry about you removing? Bury them in the trash or hide them in the Goodwill bag in the trunk.
Step 6: If there’s any time left, clean something if you feel like it.


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