Why I often look delirious

January 18, 2011 at 2:49 pm (Parenthood) (, , )

I am not a sleeper.  I’m not sure how I slept as a baby, but I’ve had trouble sleeping off-and-on since I was a kid.  You hear people give advice about young children learning to put themselves back to sleep in the night.  I tend to think that’s shit.  Either you’re a sleeper, perhaps with occasional trouble sleeping, or you’re not a sleeper, but occasionally get good sleep.  My husband is the former; I am the infuriatingly the latter.  If we have some petty disagreement at bedtime, he can still be asleep in five minutes while I stew for hours.  Thankfully that’s not my “usual” reason for insomnia.

Pregnancy and having babies that wake in the night just exacerbate this.  When I was pregnant with Willa, I’d lie awake just wishing somebody would soothe me back to sleep.  I’m not alone, I know, from the number of pregnant friends I know posting on FB at 3 in the morning.  And something about winter seems to keep me up late also.  Maybe I need more exercise.  Actually, there’s no maybe about needing exercise, just a maybe concerning its helpfulness to my sleep.  At any rate, if you are reading this sleep-deprived, I wish you Sweet Dreams tonight!

As an example of the ridiculousness of my evenings, here’s a rundown of last night, unfortunately not an atypical night:

9-10:30pm: Watch Friday Night Lights on DVD with husband.  Feel guilty because slept horribly the night before and should be sleeping, but don’t feel tired yet.

10:30-11pm: Go upstairs, wake up Willa (in our bed) crawling in.  Feed her, listen to her and husband fall asleep.

11pm: Decide should read until tired.

11:30pm: Decide am not tired enough, need a little snack.  Have snack watching reruns of Friends.  My criteria for “fall asleep TV” is it can’t be creepy (i.e. CSI, etc.) and I must have seen it before, so plenty of stupid TV not worthy of my time gets watched.

11:35-11:55: Toss and turn on the couch, feeling guilty I won’t be at my level-headed best Mamaness tomorrow.  Feel annoyed because tomorrow has plenty of important to-dos.  Worry about money.

12am: Fall asleep.

12:20am: Wake up.  Drag self off couch, dreading waking up Willa in my bed.  I refuse to sleep all night on the couch.  Sleeping on the couch is for people in their twenties who have had too much to drink at a friend’s house.  We are in the process of transitioning Willa to Greta (and now also Willa’s) room, but it’s taking longer than planned.  First Mark built a lofted bed for Greta, completed a couple days ago.  (Please ignore the cobwebs which I am too lazy to crop out.)
There were four on the bed
Now I need to get Willa’s spot in that room ready.  Heading up the stairs, I remember Parker’s a good cuddler and go wedge myself between him and the wall in his twin bed, half on the siderail.  Hours of wonderful sleep… that kid IS a good cuddler.

4am: Hear Willa grunting, go feed her.

4:14am: Mark’s alarm goes off.

4:30am: Go downstairs to say good-bye to Mark, hoping Willa will stop talking and go back to sleep.

4:45-5:20am: Toss and turn while Willa jabbers next to me and plays with her feet.

5:20am- Feed her again in hopes of her sleepiness.

5:30am- Decide to give her the bed to see if she if the lack of my distraction will get her to sleep.  (It often does; I am REALLY looking forward to having another choice of place for her to sleep soon.)  Shower.

5:40am- Out of the shower to a sleeping baby.  Good.  Climb back in bed to see if the hot water has worked its magic.

6am- No, it has not.  And…. up for the day.


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Would you rather

January 10, 2011 at 9:56 pm (Uncategorized)

take down the Christmas tree or write?  That tree may be up until February unless my husband intervenes.  And the likelihood of that?  Small.

I’ve been wincing at the thought of looking up my last year’s resolution post.  Whatever it says, if I don’t remember it, it’s unlikely I worked on it.

Deep breath, here goes.

(While I read it, enjoy these photos of our winter break from school.)

What a big brother!

yes, it's december

those vinyl seats make an ok backdrop

 Enough pictures.

The news is: I had lofty goals for 2010.  Even more lofty than I remembered.  Here they are with “progress” so you don’t have to click.

1. To wake up weekdays by 6:30 – destressing that time of day.  ::  By necessity, yes, I was usually up by 6:30 in 2010.

2. Work on communication with my husband.  ::  Pretty sure 2010 was the year of least communication ever between Mark and Heather.  Since we met in 2003, that is.  1983 was also a year of little Mark-Heather communication.

3. Take more walks.  ::  No.

4. Play more with my kids.  ::  Maybe.  At any rate, I did play with them, whether or not it was MORE.

5. Read more books.  ::  Yes, ongoing.

6. Watch very little TV.  Potentially “break” our TV altogether.  ::  I think less was watched.  More than a “very little” though.

7. Create chore charts for my kids – less nagging them to pick up, more actual choring being done.  ::  Uh, fail.  I DID create chore chart.  I just never showed them to anybody.  And now of course the chores have changed.  Sigh.  (This is an example of trying to be too perfect.  Whether you have a cute little clip art picture of setting the table or just draw a table setting on an index card, the kids are going to grumble.)

8. Reinstate our family meetings that have fallen by the wayside.  ::  We had a few.

9. Formulate a plan for picking up more income and/or reducing expenses so that the two actually match.  ::  Major fail.

10. Last but not least- take care of my body and mind in order to grow a whole new person!  ::  Done, person made!  THIS is a last year’s resolution I can feel good about.  (See above, she’s a darn cute and cuddly litter person.)

So, onto 2011.  New Year’s resolutions can be made through January, I say.  They will be along the same theme of maintaining a happy, healthy, growing family, but with the added potential of fulfillment.

1. Update my wardrobe.  Wearing jeans that don’t fit every day makes mama cranky.  With a few exceptions, I haven’t bought clothing since spring of 2009.  It seemed unjustified since 1) I don’t have an income, and 2) I don’t know what size to buy.  I have jeans two sizes too big, and jeans two sizes too small. 

I have a certain pair that will fall to my ankles without warning.  Or a couple-second warning, I guess.  But if one is carrying a baby and ______ (plate of food, another child, laundry basket, stack of papers, etc.) and is amongst one’s family at home… well, the pants are going down.  It’s ridiculous I know.  This is how truly bad the situation is: my boys know the pair that fall.  I was wearing these pants while volunteering in their classroom and they started to sag.  Parker yells across the quiet classroom.  “Mom, you’re pants are going to fall down!”  Now, of course I wasn’t going to show off my underwear to twenty-four six-year olds!  But he didn’t know that.  All he knew he would DIE if I those pants went down so he had to save me. 

I still don’t know what size to buy, but perhaps we can overcome that issue over the course of 2011.  And one way to help:

2. Eat sitting down.  This is a goal I have for all of us.  I have noticed I eat a grazing breakfast while getting the kids theirs and simultaneously making lunches.  Then I eat lunch while puttering around with dishes, etc.  Or I don’t so much eat lunch as snack on unhealthy food substitutes.  The kids have started to follow my lead.  They stand around the kitchen talking to me with a plate of food like we’re mingling at a cocktail party.  Except with more messes.  I’m quite certain my food consumption would be healthier if I sat down to eat it.  And my brain may actually register I’m eating something, so as to not tell my hands to put more food in my mouth until I’m hungry again.  [In some ways this seems like a “gimmick” resolution, when the real issue is we all need less but more healthy food, but I’m going for ATTAINABLE goals here.  Baby steps for 2011.]

3. The most lofty goal, and the only one so important I’m going to repeat from last year: work on communication with my husband.  Now, to find time to tell him that’s a goal of mine…




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